So, ever since I heard my long-term subbing gig was coming to a close, I’ve been stressing out on finding a second job. Substitute pay is pretty descent, but long-term sub pay gave my a nice little “stash” to live off of for a good little minute. I have one more week as a long-term sub and then I go back to regular subbing.

I have been struggling since I graduated from college two years ago to find a descent paying job. I’ve been subbing since October and decided to move from my job in Atlanta and try to pick up more substituting days since it was closer to home and I’d be making about the same amount on a day-to-day basis. I was fortunate enough to get a seasonal gig at Bath and Body Works, but of course when the season ended I was laid off. I’ve spent a little time here and there looking for another job, but didn’t stress it so much since I had the long-term sub gig and was hoping that I’d be working in the position until the end of the school year (since having me was cheaper for the school, and it was a non-academic course), but needless to say, the county hired someone pretty quickly for the position, so I have about 2 months pay in the position.

I’ve been going nuts applying for jobs online and have been keeping a pretty level head up until now, when I realize my last week starts Monday. I was told the school would keep me on the sub schedule, so I SHOULD still remain employed, but the feeling that has rushed over me makes me feel like I’m losing my job forever! I’m feeling pretty overwhelmed with life right now.

Last week I did an AWESOME job with sticking with my exercise routine and worked out 5 days last week, but this week I haven’t felt so motivated. I worked out Monday, but Tuesday and Wednesday I was so busy with living life, that I didn’t make time to go to the gym and nor did I eat really well. I have been over eating for the past three days. The job thing is driving me nuts! Yesterday I went to talk to a school I’m trying to get into, and I felt overwhelmed with trying to get all my paper work squared away. My boyfriend and I went together and when we left I was feeling rather jealous that things were going so well for him. I admire his ability to not stress over things and feel so overwhelmed like I do. For me, at the end of the day of dealing with paper work and applying for jobs, the LAST thing I want to do is workout.

I’ve also gained a little weight and because of stress and overeating, I haven’t been able to shed the weight off. The new month starts on Tuesday and I keep telling myself I’m going to be strict in March. I feel like if I get back to being strict like I was when I first started my weight-loss program, that I would be able to shed the weight. I just keep telling myself to not stress over the weight gain and over eating and just give myself a break and live life, but I feel like I’ve been telling myself this for a few weeks now, so I need to stop telling myself that and just get back on my diet–just suck it up-the fact that I’m on a diet. I need to be more disciplined–get back to the discipline I used to be at and try to lose this weight.

I’ve decided that starting Sunday (in two days), I’m SERIOUSLY going on a strict diet. I’m going to take out sweets and sodas (since I let those slip back in). I feel that if I give up sweets for 6 weeks, then when I allow myself to eat it again, I wont want it as much. So, no more ice cream or Girl Scout Cookies. I have some left, so I might be finishing those in the next two days, bad I know, but I don’t want to waste them, but I need to rid them from the house before I start my diet. I’m also going to try to limit my eating out and when I can’t avoid it, like with my parents or something, I’m going to try to order fish and veggies and salad. No more chips and salsa for me (my weakness), and I’m going to try to stay away from Mexican food…which is gonna be tough. I’ll reward myself for my birthday, since it’s my birthday, but I’m hoping this helps me to shed some pounds.

I still use MyFitnessPal, but I just don’t know if I should eat back all my calories. I have a been given a goal intake of 1690 calories per day, and so if I burn 1000-1200 as I have been doing lately, of course it allows me to eat that many calories more, but I just don’t feel comfortable eating around 3000 calories a day to get a net intake of 1690. Even with eating 3 meals and 2 snacks, I will only net around 800-1200 calories. I keep reading their message boards and all of them say you should eat those calories back it just seems like SO much.  So I’ve decided I’m going to eat around 2000-2200 calories for the day, and just have to suck it up. Hopefully that doesn’t put me in starvation mode, but I just don’t feel hungry at the end of the day as long as I have eating my 3 meals and 2 snacks.

But my other plan is to try to get up early and get my workouts in. I am struggling to find motivation in the evenings to hit the gym. So, I’m going to get up and go around 5/5:30am and then that gives me an hour/hour and half to do 40 minutes of cardio at least 20-30 minutes for strength training. I want to stick to working out 5 days a week, and if it means missing dinner with some friends or family members to get a workout in, then I need to just do that and be a little selfish. (Which will help me to save money too!) We shall see how things go at the end of 6 weeks…sometimes I wish I had a personal trainer to assist me, but oh well! I just have to deal with it for now.

As always! I shall keep you posted on how my diet works out!