Okay, so what I’m ACTUALLY writing about isn’t all happy and exciting as Rihanna is in that song, but it’s important, nonetheless… at least for me.

So before 2012 started, I sat (probably was lying) down and thought about my game plan for my new workout and exercise routine. I’d been off my routine for some time (like a month or so), and REALLY wanted to kick off the new year with a bang–go hard or go home, right? (actually, I DO go home… That’s where my gym is, lol) When I got hired at the hospital for weekend 12hr shifts, I didn’t really think it would have much impact on my life, but it has been a BIG deal. I gave up personal life goals, struggled to meet some, and then my stress level about tripled. I work two jobs, averaging 6 days a week. With working long hours, I didn’t want to force myself to HAVE to workout. My plan was to go HARD Monday through Friday, meaning, I’d be SUPER strict on my health kick, working out 5 days a week and eating only my allotted calories, but then this weekend I realized that even with trying to be healthy by packing healthy foods, I find some yummy goodness to eat that takes me over my calories.  For instance, this past weekend I packed soups and sandwich for lunch and healthy snacks of apple, yogurt, nuts, and string cheese, but then one of the doctors brought bagels and another day I bought a piece of cake to eat with my lunch. So, why am I overeating on the weekend as opposed to the week day? Because with my job as a patient care assistant, I’m moving practically 10 out of the 12 hours. So, with bringing healthy foods, which are low-calorie (like fruit and yogurt), I burn the calories off quickly and then I get REALLY hungry & have run out of snacks that I brought to eat, so to satiate my hunger, I end up eating a bagel or getting a piece of cake (because that’s what’s quick and available).

The food court at the hospital I work at sucks. They have a grill, and I guess I could get a turkey burger, no bread, but outside of “Make Your Own Salad” they don’t have a lot of healthy options. And when I bring my own food, it makes tracking calories easier–even if I get a turkey burger, no bread, I don’t know WHERE the burger and cheese are coming from. I also try to pack my lunch so I can avoid the temptation, but SOME TIMES, I get to the point of stomach growling starvation. I had originally came up with a plan of attack for this weekend to counteract the hunger (since I knew from earlier that I tend to get hungry quickly), so I was TRYING to pack more snacks. I also made a protein shake for breakfast and drank it on the way to work, and then had my cereal or oatmeal for breakfast when I got to work. I was trying to stick with my weekday plans of eating 5 small meals: breakfast, AM snack, lunch, and PM snack, and then I’d eat dinner when I got home. But it still didn’t work. I actually found myself HUNGRIER this weekend, hence why I ate the bagel and the piece of cake, because I knew those were two things that would “stick to my ribs” and keep me fuller longer, but neither are really healthy, and I don’t want to completely sabotage all the work I do during the week over the weekend. On Saturday night, I weighed myself, because I felt REALLY bloated, and I was almost at 210lbs! Which is 5lbs heavier than even my starting weight! I mean, I know it was the end of the day, I was bloated, and I probably had a lot of water weight, but I just felt REALLY heavy. So I told myself, NEXT weekend, I need to find a better plan of attack.

I talked to my dad about it last night when I got home from work. He told me to just over pack snacks. So take more nuts with me and take more fruit. He said things like strawberries and grapes will be more satiating, but not so high in calories, and sweet enough, so I don’t go grab a piece of cake. I can snack on fruit and veggies all day pretty much. I just need to find some fruit and veggies high in fiber that I can eat that will fill be up. I try apples because all the doctors on the doctor shows talk about how good and full of fiber they are…either I’m buying the wrong apple or something, because I do NOT feel fuller–I actually get hungrier. I even tried getting banana’s like J. Hudson was saying on Dr. Oz last weekend, but while it satisfied me for 30 minutes to an hour longer than the apple, I STILL got hungry again.  I try to complement it with something more fulfilling, like yogurt or peanut butter or something, but it doesn’t work 100% of the time. And also, I try to limit my peanut butter intake to just a serving size (which honestly isn’t a lot for someone who LOVES peanut butter). I guess on a positive note, my metabolism has probably kicked up and I’m burning and digest food quicker than I was before… but still…I HATE a growling stomach!

I plan on going to the grocery store Thursday or Friday to buy some foods for the weekend. I might have to go back to getting Fiber One granola bars or something, those are low-calorie,  but will also help me to feel fuller as well. I will also buy more fruits and veggies. I had baby carrots as a snack this weekend (no ranch dressing), and got pretty satisfied off that as well.

Another idea I thought of was to maybe go for a walk after work. At least for 30 minutes. I know I’m not going to burn enough calories to counteract the bagel or piece of cake I might eat. I feel like I could come home and watch TV for 30 minutes or so while doing it, maybe at an incline, on the treadmill. Since I know I’m usually pretty tired after 12 hours of work, a walk won’t be anything TOO strenuous on my body and make me too sore to function at work the next day. But I really need to figure SOMETHING out so I don’t ruin my diet.

Last year I was in a plateau because I was constantly yo-yoing, eating great for a few days, then eating like crazy and not working out for another, gaininng and losing, gaining and losing. I don’t want to go through that again. I REALLY want to lose these last 15-20 lbs for GOOD. I want to get to MY ideal weight and learn how to maintain it. I’m very close to my goal. I feel like I can get there by June (in time for summer). I started this year off with weight-training and I’ve increased my cardio levels. I’m also trying my best to eat better and eat healthy.

I also went back to Sparkpeople.com. I’m using both websites now, since Sparkpeople is what helped me to lose my initial 50 pounds. I had a total of 53 pound weight-loss when I was on that site (but have gained the 3 back for sure). I know tracking on both My Fitness Pal and Sparkpeople is double tracking, but Spark honestly makes a little more sense to me, but I like the scanner option on the MFP iPhone app, which makes tracking easier. I wish the Sparkpeople app had that option.

But I just need to decide on a new game-plan for the weekends. I know if I work hard and stay strict Monday though Friday, I can give myself A LITTLE leadway on Saturday, where I can eat what I WANT for dinner (which is usually Chinese food–I don’t know WHY I’ve been craving that for the past couple of weekends), but Sunday I would really like to get back on my diet, at least, and eat healitherr and within calorie range, even if I’m not exercising. I guess a part of me wants to learn how to maintain my weight even if I don’t exercise. I KINDA of have a hang of it, obviously, since I’ve kept 50lbs off, but I have still been going in and out of working out SUPER hard and just working out casually. I tend to not go more than a month of not working out because I just feel UBER lazy and unproductive (and fatter).

I think I’m going to take up my dad’s suggestion of buying fruits and veggies that I can snack on that will still fill me up, and just snack on that. I will be okay, in the end. I just have to stay determind. And resist the temptations. I think I am going to try to incorporate the walking after work on Saturday and Sunday nights. That might also help me sleep better too.

So, cheers to the freakin’ weekend, I’ll drink (water) to that!