I’m sorry if this post offends anyone, but I was uberly disturbed by what I’m about to talk about:

A couple of days ago, I went to Dr. Oz website to look a recipe for one of the meals he was making on the show. After finding the recipe, I came across a stream of videos related to the fattest women in America. I took some time and watched the various stream of movies and was UBERLY disturbed by it. The video profiled about 8-10 women, half of which were apart of a Feederism community and content with being as overweight and the other half, anxious to get information from Doc Oz to help them to lose weight.

As I listened to these feederist women’s stories, I was disturbed by their habits–one lady’s ultimate goal weight was to be 1600lbs!!!! I was FLOORED! Who could POSSIBLY be sane enough to think that being 1600lbs is okay? She claimed that in HER mind, she was living a healthy lifestyle because some of her daily acitivies included doing a couple of sit-ups, going for walks, and some other low-impact exercise, like swimming, but then when she discussed her daily eating habits, she said that on an average she eats 4000 calories a day and has even eaten up to 20K in one day… 20K CALORIES??? ARE YOU KIDDING ME?? You MUST be joking! I hate to say this, but I LITERALLY gagged when they showed what one or two meals looked like.

I don’t mean this entry to be judgmental, but I’m honestly AMAZED there are people out there who WANT to be overweight–like not just overweight by a few pounds, but GROSSLY/MORBIDLY overweight (and I mean grossly in medical terms, not as in “ew”). I was watching the clips and remembered my days of being 253lbs. Everything from the beginning of my weight loss journey–like the steps leading me up to losing weight-flashed through my head: my photos from Puerto Rico in my bathing suit, my indigestion and heartburn, anxiety attacks, a joke my sister and I made a LONG time ago about being a “cow” if I were 250lbs (at the time of the joke I was around 220lbs and 250 seems SOO far away). I don’t understand how anyone would WANT to be overweight. I have lost 50 pounds and I bust my butt to keep the weight off, trying to counteract my sometimes bad habits and bad influences like family and friends. I think about ALL the work it has taken me to get to where I am today and I think about ALL the struggling I’m going through now to even lose a pound.

I really just don’t understand this mentality and I am sad to know there are people out there supporting this nasty habit by sending them gift cards to McDs and the like and paying them to over eat on camera. My own mentality has changed a lot since losing weight.

I know I’m looking at the picture through my own eyes now. I DO remember at a heavier weight how confident I was in myself and had ignored what I looked like really. So, if they are TRULY happy with the weight they are at, then more power to them, but I know for myself, that is just somewhere I never want to be and somewhere I am scared I might end up if I quit working out and watching my diet.

**Just needed to reflect**