Tag Archive: frustration


So, I’ve become slightly frustrated with the amount of weight I’ve been gaining. I eat fairly healthy and am even watching my meals when I go out. I will say last week wasn’t THE greatest, but for the most part I stuck to my diet. I had dinner with my boyfriend’s family this weekend and managed to only eat the salad and steamed broccoli and brought the chicken home. I’ve been avoiding sweets as much as possible, mostly in preparation for the surprise I have planned for my sweetie for VDay. And I’ve been staying away from coffee and found a green tea flavor I LOVE and have been drinking that. Is there a such thing as having TOO much green tea?

But my workout last week, I would say I strength trained 2x last week, plus 4 days of cardio. I managed to get up and get going Wednesday though Sunday. Worked out again today–today was my cardio and strength training day. Tomorrow morning I’ll get up early and get my run in before work. But I would say for the most part, I’ve been sticking with my diet AND exercise routine, so how have I been gaining all this weight??

You know how people say “you’re gaining muscle” when you have unexpected weight gain? I SO hope that is the case. My other option is that my metabolism has slowed down, although I don’t know how. I did get back on healthy trim…so maybe that might be having the reverse effects. I’ve been off it for a while, but I was hoping that it would some how kick-start weight loss for me again, but it doesn’t really seem to be helping. The other day I was feeling thin and that I was toning up, but today I feel ALL sorts of flabby and my stomach is HUGE. It’s not TOM or pregnancy or anything of the like. But I COULD be maintaining water weight. I DO drink an aweful lot of water a day and being a teacher I don’t get to hit the restroom as often as I can during the weekends. I find myself holding it for longer periods of time, or not drinking as much during the day as I normally do because of the inability to go to the bathroom whenever I please.

I’m going to try the healthy trim for a few more weeks, and if it doesn’t work, then I guess I’ll go off it again. I HAVE been lifting more, so I DO hope that I am gaining weight from muscle development and that one day I’ll step on the scale and the number will DROP. I kind of want to get a body fat percentage test done so I can see the ratio between how much fat and muscle I have on my body.

I’m wondering if I might be OVER exercising–meaning, I’m burning a lot of calories AND eating full meals per day, but my net calories for the day is pretty low. Like today for instance. I’ve had both a 600+ calorie lunch and dinner, but only have a net calorie intake of 400 because I burned off about 900 calories. I am completely satisfied at the end of the day, so I don’t find the need to stuff my face of more food JUST to make a net calorie goal of what My Fitness Pal is telling me. I had my goal set on losing 1.5 lbs a week, but I decided to increase that to 2lbs a week, which would decrease my allotted caloric intake to about 1450 cals per day, and therefore a little easier to reach after a hard workout. I’ve been working out for SO long, that if my workout isn’t moderate to high-intense, that I don’t feel like I did anything really “worth mentioning”. So I’m kind of confused about what I should do…Do I keep going, doing what I’m doing–sticking to my diet and working out, and just pray for the best? Or should I try to see a nutritionist and try to see if maybe I can tweek my diet a little more.

Oh! And remember a few weeks ago I mentioned I was going to add more fruits and veggies to my diet-I would say I’ve been doing a GREAT job with that. I’ve had fruit with my lunch I think every day since (except the weekends), but DEFINITELY have been eating more veggies. Tonight I ate a whole can of white corn–well, it was a medium sized can, but since I had the room to spare and the corn was SOOO good, I ate it all. I still have 1000 calories left to eat, so I think I might go for a nice bag of popcorn, since it’s only 280 for the bag, and it’s a pretty filling snack. I am a LITTLE hungry, but not by much, so I think the popcorn will be perfect and satisfying portion.

But anyway–I’m going to keep up the hard work this week, and hope that one day I look slim and trim. I feel SO flabby right now when I look in the mirror, which also make me not want to eat more, even though I have the caloric room to spare, that I feel like it’s fat and not muscle attributed to my weight gain. I think I might hide the scale for a few days and see if, when I feel ready to look at it again, the number is smaller. I DO feel that if by the end of this year I’m not down to the 180s with all the exercising and dieting I’m doing, then I’m DEFINITELY going to go see a nutritionist or a doctor about my thyroid. I contemplated getting a personal trainer, but I just don’t feel like I can afford one right now, on top of my gym membership. So, I’ll hold off on that for now, I suppose.

It’s just frustrating that I’ve been on this weight loss goal going on 3 years now, come May! Most people are usually at their goal weight by now, that it’s taking me practically a year, alone, to lose 10+ of these last 20lbs. So, I’m just going to keep praying and hope for the best… for now.

I really DO hope I’m “just gaining muscle”. Until next time!

[Day 4] No Soreness

Today’s Workout: 10 Minute Warm Up: 1.1 miles, Circuit Training 30 minutes, 30 Minutes of Cardio, Abs

After circuit training today, I tried to do the stationary bike and just could get stabilized on it, so I switched to walking and was pretty tired, so I was only able to push out 30 minutes in total. Something’s better than nothing!


While today’s workout was a pretty good one, I’m still frustrated with a lot of things: one of my biggest frustrations so far is that I’m not feeling sore… You might think I’m crazy for even WANTING to feel sore, but for me it’s a positive reinforcer that I did a good job. I feel like I’m lifting heavy enough weight. I’m doing 3 sets of 15 reps. I start off pretty smoothly and then by the second set I start to feel the muscle fatigue. I keep breathing and try to maintain good form so that I don’t strain any other muscles and I prevent other muscles from trying to compensate for the load. I do leg extensions and curls, a lot of shoulder work, bicep curls, hammer curls, tricep extensions and over head tricep extensions, and back work. I also follow with abdominal work: crunches, reverse crunches, medicine ball twists, and leg raises. And after ALL of this–I feel nothing…I feel the fatigue DURING, but I don’t feel it after.

What can I do to get that after workout burn? I wanna feel like I’m DOING some kinda of work ESPECIALLY since my shoulders, arms, and abdominals/love handles are ALL the areas I’m trying to tone, but the areas I don’t feel anything from even though I’m working on them. I’m DYING to get these areas toned up. While I’m VERY proud of all the weight I’ve lost, I still feel like when I see myself in photos-these are the areas I see most, and they still make me feel fatter than I am. I know that if my arms were WAY more toned, I’d look more like the size 12 that I am. Instead, I still feel like my upper body makes me look like the size 16 that I used to be. Friends say they think my arms have gotten slimmer, but I just don’t see it. While I was doing JM 30 Day Shred, I could actually see my biceeps coming in, but my arms still feel like they never got smaller.

From what I can measure, my arms are 15 inches in FAT. I’m ready for this double wave thing TO GO! And I’m tired of the love-handle hang over my jeans. I want to wake up in the morning, and have to resist laughing cause my abs hurt, or can’t lift my 6lbs cat up because my arms and shoulders hurt too much. How do I know that I’m doing a good job? When will I start seeing results? I know it’ll probably be about 2 months before I REALLY start seeing some noticeable changes because I DO have a lot of fat on these areas,  but since I can’t SEE the change, I need to be able to FEEL it. So, how do I keep myself going and stay motivated, if I’m not even feeling it either?

UGH!!! It’s just kinda of frustrating and aggravating.

Well, I was going to write more, but this is all I have for now. If I think of more later, I’ll update.